military control. By restricting his homosexual sex to weekend passes and leaves, the GI is able to indulge his tastes and retain the respect of his cohorts. In fact, it is the usual thing to return to base, bragging about the number of "queers" that they have encountered. And, of course, the oldest joke on the subject is still making the rounds. I suspect that some impressionable troop at Lackland Air Force Base has just heard it and thinks it new and original. The story goes like this: When on pass I went to this dance and I picked up a girl. She was really built. So I got her drunk and took her back to the hotel. When I got into bed with her, I found out that the girl was really a guy. I was so mad, I almost didn't screw him. (End of joke)

I submit that if you care for the one-sided sex that the GI regards as his standard fare, you have a much better chance as a civilian. If your feels any urge to reciprocate in kind, he'll feel a lot freer about following his urge if he thinks you're a civilian. I know cases where GIs purposely have gone to the city in mufti, because that's the only way in which they'll be able to make other GIs. Those rare instances where two servicemen go with each other, they make sure their partner is from another outfit and that they'll never see each other again. If you plan to join the service so that you may have your own personal sailor, soldier, marine, or airman, you'd save yourself a lot of time and trouble by remaining a civilian.

Still, it is possible to find that special someone to become your friend and confidant, yes, even lover. Who knows, when gazing intently at the young and nubile bodies that surround you at shower call, you just might discover a pair of eyes burning into yours, telegraphing their timeless message. But the discovery of a similarly inclined soul brings with it more prob-

lems than it solves. If you get to care for each other, you'll hate the sham and phoniness with which you'll have to disguise your every action so that none will guess your secret. In the tensely charged barracks atmosphere, where repressed homosexuals are constantly seeing faggots everywhere, any relationship is suspect. The most casual of friends can be subjected to taunts as homosexuals.

Still, it can be done. It is possible to serve your tour of duty and gather rosebuds along the route without anyone being the wiser. All it requires is Spartan self-control, Oriental patience, and Irish luck.

If you are still unconvinced and are determined to wear that uniform, be conscious of the following facts of life:

1. The checking of the "magic square," (admitting homosexual tendencies) does not give you license to do as you please while you are in the service. In most cases you will not be accepted, but once in a while someone forgets to check your statement and you're in like Flynn (or is it Wilde?). Subsequent checking of your medical records may uncover this oversight, with the result being your discharge with a general discharge.

2. If you are well known as a ho mosexual in your neighborhood, that is if you are the talk of the tearoom, stay away from military jobs that require a security clearance. While you probably can pass the National Agency Check of official government, police and school records, that is needed for a Secret clearance, it is extremely doubtful that you'll pass the thorough background investigation needed for a Top Secret clearance. And, once again, the discovery of your gilded past is grounds for discharge.

3. During basic training, resist all; I cannot emphasize this too strongly, RESIST ALL goodies, no matter how tempting. Basic training is the most critical time of your tour of duty.